| homieluvafriendz |

when I was growin' up, we called it homieluvafriendz. The practice of being "friends with benefits". Being able to have all the intimacy of a dating relationship, without the commitment and devotion of dating officially, or the promise of such things. 

I've noticed what seems to be a boom of this "homieluvafriendz". There are lots of guys and gals out there that think it'd be ok to be able to have some (of what Ciara called her) "Goodies" from a few different people at one time. Is it because they think that this is the easiest way to get to the good parts of the relationship, without having to deal with the hard/less desirable parts? Perhaps they just want a cuddle buddy, or a person to make out with when they feel the desire to be really affectionate, or on even more special occasions it can be someone that they can relieve some sexual tension with. 

What's the big deal? Who gets hurt in these situations? As long as both sides stay objective and don't begin to want too much out of things, then everyone should be good right? It's a bud light situation (Great taste, less filling). It's the double dipper, it feels good, and there's no real consequence to it. You never have to worry about the fights, or the jealousy. No anniversaries to hold onto, no need for real romancing, no dates, and no expectations right? A couple of logical adults should be able to function in this way without letting feelings cloud their actions. 

The problem is: that's not generally how these things work! Someone usually gets caught up in the situation and starts to catch feelings. When you start to get those, you're fresh out of luck! You can't make any kind of move that would progress this to the next level, or else all the benefits end! You don't want to do anything to jeopardize anything. One person likes it a little too much, and then subequently, they're forced to forget things ever really even happened.

Eventually, someone is left with feelings of inadequacies.

What is it about being hurt that pushes us to put ourselves into situations that just can't end up that well? We're all so afraid of being destroyed that we end up doing a good job of that ourselves. There's the allure of being able to skip all of the mess to be able to gain the joys of the rewards. These shortcuts lead us to a way of living our lives that make us close up to the idea of real love. 

Very interesting no?

I'm out...