| homieluvafriendz |

when I was growin' up, we called it homieluvafriendz. The practice of being "friends with benefits". Being able to have all the intimacy of a dating relationship, without the commitment and devotion of dating officially, or the promise of such things. 

I've noticed what seems to be a boom of this "homieluvafriendz". There are lots of guys and gals out there that think it'd be ok to be able to have some (of what Ciara called her) "Goodies" from a few different people at one time. Is it because they think that this is the easiest way to get to the good parts of the relationship, without having to deal with the hard/less desirable parts? Perhaps they just want a cuddle buddy, or a person to make out with when they feel the desire to be really affectionate, or on even more special occasions it can be someone that they can relieve some sexual tension with. 

What's the big deal? Who gets hurt in these situations? As long as both sides stay objective and don't begin to want too much out of things, then everyone should be good right? It's a bud light situation (Great taste, less filling). It's the double dipper, it feels good, and there's no real consequence to it. You never have to worry about the fights, or the jealousy. No anniversaries to hold onto, no need for real romancing, no dates, and no expectations right? A couple of logical adults should be able to function in this way without letting feelings cloud their actions. 

The problem is: that's not generally how these things work! Someone usually gets caught up in the situation and starts to catch feelings. When you start to get those, you're fresh out of luck! You can't make any kind of move that would progress this to the next level, or else all the benefits end! You don't want to do anything to jeopardize anything. One person likes it a little too much, and then subequently, they're forced to forget things ever really even happened.

Eventually, someone is left with feelings of inadequacies.

What is it about being hurt that pushes us to put ourselves into situations that just can't end up that well? We're all so afraid of being destroyed that we end up doing a good job of that ourselves. There's the allure of being able to skip all of the mess to be able to gain the joys of the rewards. These shortcuts lead us to a way of living our lives that make us close up to the idea of real love. 

Very interesting no?

I'm out...

[ Endeavors in Adulthood... Really Adult? Dang. ]

BREAKING NEWS!

We interrupt your normal blog reading with the following news that is just breaking: Justin is now an adult!!! Repeat: Justin is now an adult! Upon realizing this, he has reverted to a childlike mentality, and has locked himself in his room; listening to many songs from the 80's.

Back to your regular reading...

When the hell did this happen?! Was the sandman secretly stealing years from me as I lay defenseless before his power? (how dare you sandman! I shake my fist at you!)

So vivid are the memories of my first school dance, my first phone call to a girl, and the subsequent feeling of the awkwardness of that particular conversation.

I feel like I started college yesterday. I met melody yesterday! Yesterday, literally, I realized that my best friend had gained that position over 8 years ago! Not only have I a horrible sense of time, but I'm OLD!

This past weekend, I was in Oakland for a celebration dinner thrown for my friends Henry and Christie. I have had the pleasure of knowing them, their entire relationship. As I met more and more family members; I began to find myself answering the same questions: where are you working? How long have you been there? When did you graduate? When are you going to get a real job?

I engaged in conversation with my friend Tara, and heard her talk about how she trudged through the last year (kickin' and screamin') to realize that it was necessary to set up this year and where she was going now. She just got a great job, and is set to start being self sufficient. My parents disowned me financially when I was 19. I did realize that I've been stuck at my college job for a while. Tara helped me to se that I was stuck in my development time...

Time to get a grown up job!

I'm approaching my 27th year. (The old cuteness is tired action by now.) Not only do I have to get over my toys r us mentality (never wanted to grow up) but I have to face this economy head on...

Wish me luck!

I'm out...

[ passions ]

two weeks ago, I believe (I can't be fully tusted on that. Memory really is the first thing to when you get older, isn't it?) I was talking with ollie and alicia, and they were asking about my passions. It has come to my attention that my current season of "blah" is being rejected. People in my life want to see that spark again. They want some kind of evidence that there's life in these amazingly dreamy brown eyes.

There are many things that I love to do. Outside of my ocd-esque love of watching infomercials and nabbing such life saving essentials as the "sham-wow", I enjoy a bevy of different things. (I threw in that word to help me feel better about being in so much school related debt.)

I LOVE music! Want to get me engaged in a spirited conversation? Ask me something about music. I could rant on and on about my favorite artists, or about why a certain genre has changed my life (and could change yours if you'd finally just give it a try). I can give you a soliloquy about the joys of a perfectly blended mood/music cocktail and finding the right r&b chaser to those stiff pop shots. We can discuss the current state of hip-hop and how the soul of the music has been compromised. I love it all!

I also love tech stuff! I'd love to be one of those peeps who get to test the latest and greatest additions to our everyday lives. Maybe I should just sign up to work at cnet right now! Computers, cell phones, web browsers, random knickck knacks. They all make me happy. In particular I'm very passionate about Google, or as I like to call them, the poor man's apple. I've had many lively debates about my feelings for what they do for all of us. (seriously, google sync changed my life. Ask me about it). Even the new media darling/devil, the dual faced microblogging/annoying tool, Twitter is a strong interest of mine :)

People, I think, will always make me happy. I love just chillin' with a good friend, Whether we're just chattin' it up or planning out our plan of attack for getting on America's best dance crew. Friends make my heart beat fast. I love spending an afternoon with some of my closest friends, or even a new friend. (the pace of my life right now, does not allow for too much human interaction with said friends. Not to worry, all this shall be changing soon)

Lastly, I love writing. Something about getting one's thoughts down on paper is just soo liberating! Now, this can be a pretty isolating activity too. It can be misconstrued (english degree payin' dividends, baby) as an anti-social activity, writing can be a tool of bringing people together. I love hearing the rapid exchange of ideas between friends, or in a bigger open mic/poetry slam type environment.

I love lots of things! (redundantly stated, I know). It seems the current pace of my life has stunted some of these passions. Change is on the horizon my friends! I shall be getting things back under control quickly. I'm growing a little keen on my new surroundings (sacramento love?) and I shall be shedding these rough external layers and showing the inner beauty of my true self!

Here's to the coming out party!

I'm out...